Siminal Gorilla Boss Crewneck Sweatshirt

Some guys unwind with a premium Cuban cigar. This absolute unit unwinds with a premium stalk of celery.

This sweatshirt captures the ultimate health-conscious power move. Looking like a classic, old-school mafia boss or a high-flying CEO enjoying a victory smoke, this gorilla has subverted the entire genre by holding a crisp, leafy stick of celery between his fingers. He’s looking directly at you with an expression that says, "Yeah, it’s one of my five-a-day. What about it?" It’s powerful, it’s ridiculously classy, and it’s packed with pure, unadulterated fiber.

Bold, hilarious, and unapologetically fresh, this graphic tee is for anyone who takes their nutrition seriously but their life choices with a heavy side of humor.

Warning: Wearing this shirt may cause an sudden drop in blood pressure, an intense desire to dramatically bite into raw vegetables, and people asking, "Is that... a celery cigar?"

Product features
- Midweight 50/50 cotton–polyester blend (8.0 oz) for comfort and durability
- Embroidery options: left chest, center chest, large center chest, and both wrists
- Tubular knit construction without side seams for a clean, reduced-waste finish
- Double-needle stitching at shoulder, armhole, neck, waistband, and cuffs
- Ethically grown US cotton with OEKO-TEX® STANDARD 100 certified dyes

Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Do not dryclean
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