Siminal Simon as Siminal Simon T-Shirt

Meet Simon in his purest, most unbothered form. No squats, no side-steps, no distractions—just a man (well, a simian) standing completely upright, staring into the middle distance, and giving absolutely nothing away.

Is he contemplating the profound mysteries of the universe? Or is he just trying to remember if he locked the front door? We will never know. This is the ultimate "default state" look. He’s standing, he’s breathing, and frankly, that’s more than enough effort for one day.

Minimalist, deadpan, and perfectly blank, this tee is for anyone who appreciates the subtle art of just existing.

Warning: Wearing this shirt may cause sudden bouts of standing perfectly still, an increased tolerance for long silences, and people asking, "Are you waiting in line, or...?"

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Product features
- 100% ring-spun cotton; lightweight 153 g/m² for all‑day comfort
- Tubular knit (no side seams) for a smooth, waste‑reducing silhouette
- Ribbed collar with shoulder tape to retain shape and prevent stretching
- Prints applied via DTG/DTF depending on placement for crisp, durable artwork
- OEKO‑TEX® STANDARD 100 certified; EU 2‑year warranty and safety compliance

Care instructions
- Do not dryclean
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Iron, steam or dry: low heat
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors