Siminal Simon album cover T-shirt

Why have just one Simon when you can have the full existential lineup?

Featuring the man himself in three distinct stages of "doing the absolute least," this tee captures the true spectrum of Simon’s daily routine. On the left, we have the Pre-Squat Lean—perfect for assessing if a bench is worth walking over to. In the middle, the Stand-and-Stare—a masterclass in looking completely blank yet deeply profound (bonus points for Simon wearing a t-shirt of himself wearing a t-shirt). And on the right, the Casual Side-Step, executed only when physical movement becomes entirely unavoidable.

Simple, meta, and effortlessly cool, this tee is for the multi-faceted loiterer who knows that doing nothing is a full-time job.

Warning: Wearing this shirt may cause people to double-take, question the fabric of reality, and ask, "Wait, is that shirt wearing itself?"

Product features
- 100% medium-weight cotton (solid colors) — durable, smooth fabric for sharp prints
- Tubular knit construction with no side seams for a cleaner drape
- Ribbed, seam-free collar and shoulder tape for shape retention and comfort
- Dual printing: DTF for sleeves/inner labels and DTG for main design for crisp, detailed artwork
- OEKO-TEX® STANDARD 100 certified; tear-away label and ethical cotton sourcing

Care instructions
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Do not iron
- Do not dryclean
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: low heat